All the Women on Vanderpump Rules Are Bullies ... And That's Why I Bang Their Boyfriends!

Tuesday night’s Vanderpump Rules reunion special was different from any in the show’s history, and not only because it was conducted over video conference in accordance with social distancing guidelines.

For one thing, it may have been the most exciting episode of the season, so we guess the stars of the show have been searching the #PumpRules hashtag and realizing that viewers have been bored to tears lately.

On top of that, there were several generic newcomers, two of whom were forced to apologize for past racist comments.

Then there was the sight of Jax Taylor — who somehow has not been fired from the show for his own bigoted remarks — throwing a mutton-chopped mantrum over the mounting evidence that he remains an abusive jerk.

In a way, Vanderpump Rules Season 8 was the exact opposite of 2020 — dull, predictable, and with little to offer in the way of unexpected twists.

But in other respects, it was very similar to our current hellscape, as villains revealed themselves to be even worse than previously thought, while their victims got fed up and fought back in commendable ways.

One such victim was Kristen Doute.

Sure, she’s shown herself to be far from infallible over the years, what with all the banging her friends’ boyfriends and whatnot, but after the way she was shut out and bullied by the rest of the cast this season, we’re beginning to think the aspiring t-shirt mogul may have had her reasons.

On Tuesday’s reunion show, Kristen confessed to sleeping with Max, who seems to hold a strange hold over every woman who ever donned a SUR dress.

Depending upon whom you ask, this was either another case of Kristen betraying her friends or no big deal at all.

Fortunately, it seems like Kristen is unbothered either way.

Doute has a new memoir to promote, and she recently shared some excerpts from the book with Life & Style.

Based on her candid tone, we’re guessing Kristen is tired of the shabby treatment she’s been receiving from her so-called friends, and she has officially reached the point where she couldn’t care less what they think.

Naturally, she described the two occasions on which she slept with Jax, who was in a long-term relationship with Stassi at the time.

“It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t purposeful. But it was selfish. But I was lonely and for some reason I felt safe and familiar with him and all my morals went out the window,” Doute wrote about their encounters.

“My total lack of self-esteem, plus a lot of alcohol, made it feel totally reasonable to commit the ultimate relationship crime. Twice.”

Kristen also opened up about her abusive relationship with James Kennedy, which was apparently even more damaging than it appeared on the show.

“By the time he had broken me down, I was fully ready to let it get to the next level. He was jealous and possessive," she wrote.

"He put me down in public and blamed me for all his problems.”

She added that James’ abuse eventually reached the level of “shoving, pushing, and physical restraint."

Remarkably, Kennedy was combative with Kristen during last night’s reunion, and not the slightest bit apologetic.

As for the Witches of WeHo who devoted the most energy to tearing Kristen down this season, Stassi and Katie Maloney both defended their actions when speaking with Life & Style

“It’s not just one thing that brought us to this place. It was just a series of years of things,” Stassi told the tabloid.

“You’ve seen us ebb and flow with Kristen a lot and we know sometimes how Kristen can be difficult,” Katie noted.

“It just reached the wall, it reached the ceiling.”

On Twitter, fans weren’t so interested in Stassi and Katie’s apologies, and were much more concerned with their continued mistreatment of Kristen.

"Gotta love how Kristen is catching all this heat for sleeping with Max while Max just sits there unscathed, looking like the boring, racist, werewolf twig that he’s been all season," one viewer tweeted.

That’s a solid description, although it’s worth noting that Max seemed more sincere in his apology than must of the Vanderpump dudes who have been called out for toxic behavior.

Of course, saying your behavior looks good in comparison to Jax’s drug-fueled meltdown is pretty fait praise.

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